Gerard,
Lately you have been on my mind more than usual if that is even possible. Someone in the family gave me some secondhand news about you that I cannot shake. Apparently, this burden is harder to bare than I realized because all day long at work people keep asking me if I am okay. I give the typical Gerard answer "I'm good," but no one believes me. Like the song says "it's written all over my face." I do not know if I will ever get used to missing you. I don't know if I ever want that feeling of hurt to leave me. I do know though that I cannot reconcile my feelings about you.
In my spirit I feel as if you knew something that needed to be shared. Knowing you as well as I did I know exactly why you didn't share the information, but damn Gerard I really wish you had. All of this is somehow making me feel as if I didn't do my job. My uncle asked me to look out for you and take care of you. I did it the best way I knew how. Despite my best efforts something important fell through the cracks. And now no matter what I do or how hard I pray, I cannot turn back the hands of time.
Damn Gerard......
I don't know if you let me down or if I failed you. Now there's nothing anyone can do.
I wish I could be angry with you because that would probably make missing you so much easier, but I can't be mad at you. I don't think I have ever been mad at you longer than a day. Who can stay mad at their best friend who always forces a hug on you and smiles.
And while this is over Gerard, it's not over. You owe me some answers.
Until then...... I am blowing kisses to the sky for you.
#ForeverGerard
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